Here Be Monsters! Read online

  OUT ON THE ROOF!

  Arthur sat on the roof and caught his breath.

  He had only just made it. Arthur sat on the roof and caught his breath. It was still raining, and a few inches behind him was a vertical drop to the street. He was not at all happy with the situation he was in.

  Forcing himself to look straight ahead, Arthur shuffled along the bridge of the roof until he reached the statues below the dome. From inside the roof, he could hear muffled voices.

  Then a metallic squeaking started. Arthur looked to see the pulley at the end of the beam turning, and the rope was slowly straining through it. Whatever it was lifting, it was heavy.

  The plaintive bleating of cheeses grew louder.

  “The poor things,” Arthur muttered, then he looked up at the dome. If he could get up there, he might be able to signal to the Laundry.

  Without his wings he would have to climb. Just the thought of this made him dizzy. It felt so different being up there but not able to fly. Still holding on to a statue, he stood up slowly and started to climb. Soon he was hanging onto the weather vane on the plinth.

  Looking across the town he could just make out the mast of the Nautical Laundry. Black specks floated around it. Arthur guessed they must be the crows. He waved but was pretty sure they wouldn’t see him. The rain grew heavier, and soon he lost sight of the crows. He looked down. Set into the dome were several small windows. He decided to have a look to see what was going on inside.

  Arthur turned around slowly, lowered himself till he found a footing, and then released his grip on the weather vane. He slithered down to a narrow strip of stonework that ran around the base of the dome. One of the windows was just a few feet from him. He eased himself along the ledge and peered in to see that the pens were now occupied by cheese. He moved around to the far window.

  He slithered down to a narrow strip of stonework.

  Several men were pulling something up.

  Several men were pulling something up with the hoist. They pulled and pulled, and finally a net came into view. More cheese! Arthur could hear the bleating. When the net was level with the doors, one of the members took a long pole with a hook on the end and used it to swing the net into the loft. Then the doors were shut and the cheeses released from the net. For about a minute there was mayhem as the cheeses did all they could to evade capture. But trapped in the loft, they stood no chance, and soon they were all in pens.

  Arthur peered through it.

  The cheeses quieted down, and the members left. Arthur decided it was too dangerous to try to get back down with the hoist, but he had to get in somehow. He looked at the window in front of him and decided to try to force it open. It gave way fairly easily. Arthur smiled. Directly below him was a pen with a good covering of hay on the floor, which he thought might make a soft landing. Before he could talk himself out of it, he jumped. He hit the floor, just avoiding a cheese, and fell back into the hay. The cheeses in the pen started bleating noisily. Arthur sat still, hoping their noise would not bring any of the huntsmen back. But as the bleating died down, he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. He groaned, but quickly wiggled under the hay. Then he heard the door.

  Arthur sat still.

  “Them cheeses is making a right commotion! You’d think they knew what was going to happen to them!” said a voice. It was Gristle. “Let the cage down, and get them out of the pens. Snatcher says that the Great One is going to be right hungry after they give him a good zap!”

  “What they going to use tonight?” asked another voice.

  “Those awful trotting badgers. The sooner we cut them down to size, the better!” replied Gristle. “Did you see what they did to the Trouts?”

  “Yes. Old Trout won’t be able to sit down anytime soon, and Trout Junior is lucky he still has a nose.”

  “I am blooming glad it ain’t us on lab duty tonight,” muttered Gristle. “Anyway, they’ll be done in there in about ten minutes, and so we better get on.”

  Arthur peeked out through the hay and saw Gristle standing by a pair of brass levers that stuck out of the wall.

  “Move yerselves then,” ordered Gristle. “Don’t want to squash yer.”

  The other men cleared a space under the center of the dome, and Gristle pushed one of the levers. Arthur followed the men’s gaze upward. A cage was descending from inside the very top of the dome. It clanked and shook as it moved slowly toward the floor of the loft. The cheeses were eerily silent. The cage settled on the floor and came to rest.

  “Right!” said Gristle. “Get the cage door open, and let’s get the cheeses in.”

  Gristle and the other man grabbed several cheeses.

  While one of the men held the door open, Gristle and the other man grabbed several cheeses from the pens and pushed them into the cage. Soon the cage was full. The cheeses were so scared, they weren’t even bleating.

  “I do hope the Great One is hungry! Eight is an awful lot of cheese,” said the doorman.

  “Don’t worry, he is getting huge!” smirked Gristle.

  “Snatcher says he will be ready real soon. All we have to do is keep up the supply of cheese and monsters.”

  Arthur felt cold when he heard this. Supply of monsters?

  “Oi! Gristle! D’yer think they’re ready yet?”

  “The music ain’t started! They ’ave to ’ave the music before the cheese goes into the pit. Otherwise it wouldn’t be a Cheese Ceremony, would it?” Gristle bellowed, annoyed. “Just keep your ear out for the din.”

  No sooner had he said that when strange music started to waft up from somewhere below. Arthur had never heard anything like it. It was a crazed drumming and blowing of horns. It reached a crescendo, then stopped.

  Gristle raised a hand, then whispered, “ ’Ere we go!” He pushed down the second lever. With a bang, a trapdoor beneath the cage opened. The cage full of cheeses shuddered. Gristle pushed the first lever down again, and the cage started to disappear down through the hole.

  After about thirty seconds Gristle cried out, “Look! The chain’s gone floppy. It must have hit the fondue!”

  “Let it sink slowly, then after about a minute haul it up,” whispered one of the others. “Don’t want no half-cooked cheeses hanging about!”

  Arthur watched the men in silence. After a minute or so Gristle brought the cage back up . . . empty. Just a few strings of molten cheese hung from its bottom. Arthur was horrified. Gristle stopped the cage, then snapped the trapdoor lever up.

  “Done!” said Gristle. “Now time for tea and biscuits.”

  The members trooped out of the loft. Arthur had witnessed something awful, but he was not sure quite what.

  Just a few strings of molten cheese hung from its bottom.

  Kipper suddenly burst through the door with Tom on his platform.

  chapter 24

  BACK AT THE SHIP

  Mildred telling her news to Willbury, Marjorie, and the captain.

  In the captain’s cabin Mildred had finished telling her news to Willbury, Marjorie, and the captain, and they were all waiting rather anxiously over cups of cocoa when Kipper suddenly burst through the door with Tom on his platform. “He’s inside!” said Kipper.

  Willbury looked at Tom and Kipper. Then his face fell. “Where’s Arthur?”

  “He’s INSIDE!” repeated Kipper.

  “Not the Cheese Hall?” said Willbury. He was met with silence. “I don’t believe it. Why is Arthur inside the Cheese Hall, and you’re here? You’re supposed to be looking after him!”

  Tom bit his lip. “After Mildred left, we started to follow them, but Snatcher came back. So we hid in the alley, and Snatcher left the door open while he went to get something . . . and Arthur says to me to distract Snatcher’s horse . . . and he would sneak in . . .” Tom paused and looked even guiltier. “So I did . . . .”

  Willbury closed his eyes and shook his head.

  The captain sternly took over the questioning. “And then?”

  The cap
tain sternly took over the questioning.

  Tom and Kipper both looked very upset. Kipper stared at the floor and told him, “Well, Arthur rushed in, and a few moments later Snatcher comes out and locks the door. Then he gets on his horse and rides off . . . .”

  Tom followed on. “. . . So I says to Kipper that we better wait for Arthur to come out again. So we wait in the alley for about an hour or so . . . .”

  “Yes . . .,” the captain prompted.

  “. . . then the hunt came back . . . .” Tom’s voice quavered.

  “Do you mean Arthur’s trapped inside there, with Snatcher and his mob?” Willbury exclaimed, leaping to his feet.

  “Yes . . .” Now Tom was looking at the floor too.

  “What on Earth are we going to do now?” Willbury fumed. “Even if Arthur doesn’t get caught, I think he’s trapped.”

  There was a knock at the window. The captain opened it and two crows hopped in.

  “ ’Scuse us, Captain!” said the crows. “But we’ve just seen something over at the Cheese Hall.” Everybody in the room turned to look at the crows. “We think we just saw Arthur on the roof. He’s not there now but we’re pretty sure it was him.”

  “Can you fly over there and see if you can find him?” asked Willbury.

  “Surely,” said the crows. “We’ll go right now.”

  With that, the crows hopped out of the window and flapped off.

  With that, the crows hopped out of the window and flapped off.

  Inside the tearoom.

  chapter 25

  TEA AND CAKE

  He could hear distant laughing and the chinking of crockery.

  Arthur climbed out of the pen, crept up to the door at the top of the stairs, and opened it a few inches. He could hear distant laughing and the chinking of crockery. He closed the door again.

  He wondered what he should do next. If he went down now, he was sure to get caught.

  He looked at the cage that stood in the center of the floor. It was a very sad sight. Arthur climbed back into one of the pens and lay down in the hay to think.

  He had to get back downstairs to rescue the underlings . . . . And what was he going to do about his wings? I’ll never be able to put them back together without Grandfather . . . Arthur sat up and pulled out his doll. Grandfather! He’d forgotten about Grandfather.

  He wound the doll and called his grandfather’s name.

  “Arthur!” His grandfather sounded both agitated and relieved. “Where have you been? Where are you? Are you all right?”

  Arthur sat up and pulled out his doll.

  “I’m all right, Grandfather . . . but I am in the loft above the Cheese Hall.”

  “WHAT? You’re in the Cheese Hall?” Now Grandfather sounded angry.

  “Yes . . . ,” said Arthur, then he explained what had happened.

  “Oh, Arthur! Why can’t you do what you’re told? I’m very cross with you . . . and Mr. Nibble. He should never have let you get into this trouble.”

  “Oh, Arthur! Why can’t you do what you’re told?”

  “It’s not his fault,” Arthur said quickly. “He told me not to take any chances, and I disobeyed him . . . and you.”

  “Well, we will talk about this later, young man! But for now, we’ll have to get you out of there. You say you’ve seen your wings?”

  “Yes, the spars and leatherwork have been mended, but all the workings in the box have been taken to pieces.”

  “That’s not a problem. I can tell you how to put them back together, if you can just find a way of getting your hands on them,” Grandfather said, calmer now. “Then you’ll be able to escape!”

  A few tools.

  “What do you think they are up to?” asked Arthur.

  “I am not sure . . . but I am pretty sure it’s no good!” There was worry in his voice. “Something strange is going on. This Great One that needs cheese . . . and they said they needed more ‘monsters,’ as they call the poor underlings. And those things you saw in the lab. It’s all very peculiar.”

  “What should I do now?” asked Arthur.

  “If you hide for a while, I bet the members will go to sleep before too long. Then get down to the lab and find a way of getting the wings. I’ll guide you through rebuilding the motor.”

  “All right, Grandfather. And how are you doing?”

  “This damp is getting worse and all my joints are aching. About an hour ago I heard some rumbling. It sounds as if some of the caves are starting to crumble. I don’t know what those blasted boxtrolls think they are playing at. They are supposed to keep this place dry and shored up.”

  “Are you going to be all right?” Arthur asked worriedly. He wondered if Grandfather should perhaps come up from underground.

  “I’ll be fine. My boy, you get some rest! Contact me as soon as you get hold of your wings.”

  “I will . . . and Grandfather, keep warm!”

  The crackling from the doll stopped and Arthur lay back in the hay. He tried to concentrate on the noise downstairs, but soon his eyes closed and he dropped off to sleep.

  He awoke with a start. Something long and yellow was pecking his nose. He sat up, and as he did, two black shapes flapped up and settled on the edge of the pen.

  Something long and yellow was pecking his nose.

  “Sorry if we startled you.” It was a pair of crows.

  “You did!” replied Arthur as he rubbed his nose. “But I’m pleased to see you!”

  “We’re from the Laundry. Thanks for leaving that window open! The captain and the others are very worried about you.”

  “How did you know I was here?” Arthur asked.

  “We saw you on top of the dome earlier, and we reported it to the captain and your friends. They asked us to fly over here to see if we could find you.”

  “Thanks,” said Arthur. “Can you take a message back to them for me?”

  “No problem!” cawed one of the crows.

  “Tell them that I’ve found the underlings in the dungeon under this place. And Snatcher and the members have built some huge, weird device . . . and they are doing really nasty things to cheeses. Oh! And I have found out where my wings are . . . .”

  “You’ve been busy then. Is there anything else we can do?” asked the other crow.

  Arthur thought for a moment, then listened. There was no noise from downstairs. “Yes. Do you think you could fly down the outside of the building and check through the windows to see if Snatcher and his mob are asleep?”

  “No sooner said, than done! It won’t take a jiffy.” The crows set off through the open window in the dome. Within a minute they returned.

  “We flew around the whole building and looked in every window.”

  “It’s all clear. We flew around the whole building and looked in every window we could. They’re all asleep in a big room at the front. Looks like they’ve had a right feast of cake. Even that Snatcher is in there, snoring away.”

  “Good!” said Arthur. “I’m going to try to free the underlings and get my wings back.”

  “Anything else?” asked the crows.

  “No. Just tell them what I’ve told you . . . and tell them we’ll all be back soon.”

  The crows disappeared, and Arthur set off down the stairs.

  When he reached the bottom, he crept across to the tearoom. As quietly as he could, he opened the door. About thirty men were strewn across sofas and old armchairs, surrounded by the debris of an enormous feast of tea and cake. On the far side of the room in the largest armchair, slumped the sleeping Snatcher.

  About thirty men were strewn across sofas and old armchairs.

  A cold sweat broke out on Arthur’s forehead. He would have to be very, very careful. Trying not to make the slightest noise, he wove his way between the furniture, toward Snatcher. With each step, he tried to avoid the abandoned teacups and plates on the floor. Slowly he got closer. The legs of one of the members lay across his path, and Arthur stepped over them. As he did, the hem o
f his vest brushed the member’s foot.

  The hem of his vest brushed the member’s foot.

  “CAKE!”

  Arthur jumped forward and turned. It was Gristle.

  “. . . Just one more slice . . . . I love cake . . . .” Gristle’s eyes were still closed. He was talking in his sleep. Arthur closed his eyes for a moment and swallowed. He checked about the room and saw that nobody else was stirring, so made the last few steps to Snatcher.

  The key ring still hung from Snatcher’s waistcoat. There was a gentle jingling as Snatcher’s enormous belly moved in and out.

  Among a few crumbs on a cake stand that stood on the floor by Snatcher’s chair was a knife. Arthur picked it up and gently, gently took hold of the keys. He held the knife to the string, and as Snatcher’s belly moved, the knife cut slowly into the string. The string separated, and for a moment Snatcher’s belly wobbled. Arthur held his breath. Snatcher snorted . . . but didn’t wake. Arthur put the knife down and crept out of the room to the lab.

  The knife cut slowly into the string.

  Once in the lab he decided that it would be better to get his wings before releasing the underlings. Grandfather was right—if he got caught, it would be all over. He just hoped that Snatcher’s key ring had all the keys he needed. Arthur rushed to the shed. Searching among the keys, he found one that fit the door. He slid it in the lock and turned. There was a satisfying clunk and the door opened. Arthur pulled out his doll. “Grandfather! Are you there?”

  “Yes, Arthur.”

  “I’m in the lab with the wings. Can you help me put them back together?”

  “Certainly, dear boy. Can you find a small screwdriver and an adjustable wrench?”

  Arthur looked about the bench and found the tools he needed. “Yes! I’ve found them.”