Here Be Monsters! Page 13

  Over the next hour, Grandfather instructed as Arthur rebuilt the wings’ motor.

  Over the next hour, Grandfather instructed as Arthur rebuilt the wings’ motor. Occasionally Arthur would look up to check the door to the entrance hall or would have to break off to wind up the doll when his grandfather’s voice started to fade. But finally the motor was back together, and Arthur felt immense relief.

  “I suggest you put the wings on and wind them up . . . just in case,” Grandfather told him.

  “You’re right,” replied Arthur as he strapped them on. “Now—I’ve got underlings to rescue before Snatcher wakes up!”

  “Very well, Arthur,” said Grandfather. “But call me as soon as you are out of there! And please, please try not to take any unnecessary risks.”

  Arthur put the doll away and wound up his wings. Then he locked the shed and headed back downstairs. He peered in nervously at the members, but they were all still snoring away. Arthur prayed that they would stay asleep long enough. Tiptoeing on, he headed back toward the dungeon.

  Arthur strapping the wings on.

  Arthur looked down the length of the dungeon.

  chapter 26

  AN ESCAPE?

  Fish nodded his head and gave him a thumbs-up.

  Arthur looked down the length of the dungeon and stopped in his tracks. The door of the trotting badgers’ cell stood open. He glanced across to his friends’ cell. The four of them were still pressed up against the bars, obviously waiting for him to come back. They looked incredibly happy to see him. He silently pointed to the open cell door. Fish nodded his head and gave him a thumbs-up.

  Arthur sighed with relief, but as he passed the open door, he remembered what the members had said about the badgers. The cell looked so very empty, and he felt an odd sensation of pity as he walked past it. Then he reached his friends’ cell.

  “Thank goodness you are still here!” Arthur exclaimed.

  The underlings bounced up and down joyfully.

  “I’m going to get you out of here,” Arthur said, and produced the keys. He unlocked the door, and the underlings ran out and hugged him. Arthur hugged them back.

  The underlings ran out and hugged him.

  “Now,” said Arthur, “we had better unlock the others.”

  Fish pointed to the cells that contained the other underlings and nodded.

  “What about the boarded-up cell?”

  The underlings looked toward it and shook their heads.

  “Why not?” asked Arthur.

  As before, they started to jump up and down and quietly made bonk! bonk! noises.

  “I’ll trust your judgment,” Arthur said, eyeing the cell. “It might be very dangerous to release whatever is in there.” The underlings looked relieved.

  Arthur unlocked the other cells, and his friends went in to reassure the other creatures that they could trust Arthur. Soon they all gathered at the bottom of the stairs.

  “Come on!” said Arthur. “We have to get out of here quickly . . . but remember, keep very quiet.” The underlings nodded, and set off following Arthur.

  He guided the underlings up the stairs and out through the lab to the door to the entrance hall. They stopped, and Arthur opened the door just enough to check that the coast was clear. Arthur was about to lead them out into the entrance hall when there was a loud cheese bleat from the passageway to the front door. Arthur and the underlings froze. The door of the tearoom opened and a bleary-eyed Gristle walked out.

  Arthur checked that the coast was clear.

  A voice called out after him. “It’ll be the milkman. Tell ’im to leave fifteen pints and that I will pay ’im next week.” It was Snatcher.

  The door of the tearoom opened and a bleary-eyed Gristle walked out.

  Arthur watched as Gristle headed for the main entrance. Then he heard him shout, “ ’Ave you got the keys to the front door?”

  Arthur felt a lump in his throat. He looked from the archway to the passage across to the tearoom.

  There was a pause, then Snatcher’s voice boomed from the tearoom. “Someone’s nicked me blooming keys!”

  Arthur swung the door the rest of the way open and ushered the underlings forward. “Up the stairs! Run for your lives!” he urged them.

  Just as they started to scuttle across the hall, Snatcher stepped through the door of the tearoom. Arthur looked at Snatcher in horror. This might be the end of everything. Unable to control the panic in his voice, he shouted to the underlings:

  “RUN!”

  Arthur looked at Snatcher in horror.

  The underlings rushed up the stairs. Arthur pushed the buttons on the front of the wing box and jumped. Up he went; oh, was it good to be able to fly again!

  “It’s that blasted boy. And he’s stolen my wings!” bellowed Snatcher. The other members were now piling out into the entrance hall. They looked from Arthur to the underlings fleeing up the stairs.

  “Get ’em!” screamed Snatcher, pointing to the underlings. He grabbed a walking stick from the coat stand by the door and raised it to throw at the underlings. Arthur threw the keys hard. They caught Snatcher in the nose, and Snatcher wailed at Arthur, “You little swine. Just you wait till I get ’old of you!” For the first time in a long time, Arthur grinned. He was already too far off the ground for Snatcher to reach.

  They caught Snatcher in the nose.

  Some of the members were gaining on the underlings. Arthur adjusted his wing speed and flew up to one of the alcoves and grabbed hold of a statue. Then he pulled it hard. The statue toppled over. Below, the members saw what was happening and ran back down the stairs to get out of the way. The statue crashed down.

  Snatcher screamed again while frantically waving his walking stick. “Don’t let ’im stop yer! Get those monsters!”

  The statue toppled over.

  Arthur flew to the next statue and waited till some of the members were brave enough to start mounting the stairs again, then he pulled on it. Again there was a crash as the statue hit the stairs, and again the members ran back to avoid it.

  The members saw what was happening.

  The underlings were just reaching the door to the loft. Arthur came down on the landing, turned off his wings, and ran through the door behind them, slamming it closed. As he did, a walking stick clattered against the door behind him.

  The underlings stood in the loft looking scared out of their wits. Arthur looked around—they needed to barricade the door. His eyes fixed on the cage. He turned on his wings again, flew to the top of it, and unhooked it from its chain.

  “Quick! Push this against the door!” Arthur shouted to the underlings.

  The underlings obeyed and soon the cage crashed against the door. Arthur flew to the pair of doors at the far end of the loft and yanked them open. The net was hanging from the end of the beam.

  The cage crashed against the door.

  “Fish, help me get the net into the loft!” Arthur ordered. Fish quickly untied the rope and let a little play out. Arthur grabbed the net and pulled it in. He turned off his wings and spread the net out on the floor.

  “Everybody but Fish get in the net.” The underlings looked horrified and didn’t move.

  “Quick!” Arthur said urgently. There was a crash as the members threw themselves against the door. “This is our only chance! Please get in the net,” Arthur pleaded. But even Fish looked scared.

  More pounding and shouting came from the stairway door. Reluctantly the underlings climbed into the net, and Arthur joined Fish at the rope and they pulled the rope in. The pulley made a fearful squeak and moan, and the net swung out over the street.

  The net swung out over the street.

  “When you get to the ground, make for the canal,” Arthur called out to the underlings. He felt Fish nudge him. He realized Fish was uncertain whether he was going to be left behind.

  “Don’t worry, Fish. You and I are going to fly,” Arthur reassured him. And slowly they played the rope out, lowering
the frightened creatures.

  The crashing at the door grew louder, and Arthur and Fish let the rope out faster.

  Finally it went limp.

  “Right, Fish. Let’s be off.” Fish backed away from Arthur as the cage behind them toppled over, crashing to the ground, and the door flew open. Arthur grabbed Fish by his box corners and pushed him forward, toward the drop to the street. He turned the power knob on his box to full and hit both buttons.

  “Get them!” screamed a voice. The members were racing across the loft. Arthur jumped and pushed Fish over the edge.

  For about two seconds they dropped. Fish let out a howl, but the wings began to beat and their descent slowed. Below they could see the underlings running up a street in the direction of the canal, except for the lonely stoat, who was disappearing in the opposite direction, looking miserable. From above, they heard screams of rage.

  “Stop them! Thieves! Kidnappers! Underlings! Monsters!” Then Arthur heard Snatcher’s voice. “Get downstairs and go after them. They’re not to get away!”

  For about two seconds they dropped.

  But Arthur wasn’t worried. He had his wings. He asked Fish if he wanted to be put down on the ground.

  Fish, turning his head to look at Arthur, shook his head. He was smiling.

  “So you enjoy flying?”

  Fish nodded and started to gently flap his arms.

  “Right, then; I think we better catch up with the others.”

  So they set off through the early morning light, back to the Laundry. After they had gone a few streets, they heard the sound of dogs.

  “They are coming after us!”

  The lonely stoat, who was disappearing in the opposite direction, looking miserable.

  “Back to the laundry! Follow us.”

  chapter 27

  ATTACK ON THE SHIP

  Arthur and Fish kept low as they flew.

  Arthur and Fish kept low as they flew. They caught up with the underlings and Arthur shouted to them.

  “Back to the Laundry! Follow us.”

  Arthur was surprised at how fleet-footed the underlings were, but still the sound of the cheese-hounds grew louder. Soon they turned onto the canal bank, and before them was the Laundry. The rain had stopped and the washing was blowing in the wind. A joyful shout rang from the deck, followed by a commotion.

  “Are you all right?” Arthur asked Fish. There was a happy gurgling.

  The other underlings ran along the towpath and Arthur landed by the gangplank. As he landed, he released Fish.

  “Arthur! Fish! Egg! Shoe! Titus! You got out!” Arthur looked up to see a very happy Willbury standing at the top of the gangplank with Kipper, Tom, Marjorie, and the captain.

  Arthur looked up to see a very happy Willbury.

  “Yes! We’re all right!”

  “Thank goodness, and well done!” Everyone looked delighted, and Kipper and Tom looked especially relieved.

  Then a shout came from somewhere on deck. “Dogs ahoy!”

  Arthur and Willbury turned to see cheese-hounds rushing onto the towpath.

  Arthur and Willbury turned to see cheese-hounds rushing onto the towpath.

  “Quick, get the underlings aboard!” Willbury cried. Fish, Shoe, Egg, and Titus led the underlings up the gangplank. Arthur scrambled onto the ship after them.

  “Draw up the gangplank!” shouted the captain. Snatcher and his mob were now running down the towpath behind the dogs, roaring in anger. The crew hauled the gangplank up just as the first of the hounds leaped at it.

  “Load the cannon!”

  “I told you, Captain, we ain’t got any gunpowder!”

  “Okay, okay! Prepare the knickers!” Crows flew down from the crow’s nest to the underwear section of the rigging, unpegged six pairs of the largest knickers they could find, and then descended to the deck. The pirates quickly tied the knickers to various points on the gunwales of the ship.

  Crows with a particularly large pair of knickers.

  From below deck came a scampering, and rats appeared carrying oddly shaped lumps, each the size of a tennis ball.

  Rats appeared carrying oddly shaped lumps, each the size of a tennis ball.

  “What are those?” asked Arthur.

  “We thought we might be attacked so Tom suggested that we make something to give the enemy a real surprise,” said the captain. “We mixed all the gunge from the bilge pumps with glue, then rolled it into balls. They were very sticky so we coated them in bread crumbs and fluff. We tested one earlier . . . . It’s disgusting; when they hit you, they burst and cover you in slime. It stinks and it is almost impossible to wash off.”

  “Knickers loaded, Captain!” came the cry from the crew.

  “Prepare to fire!” ordered the captain. Rats pulled the knickers back to form catapults.

  The knickers were pulled back to form catapults.

  On the towpath everything went quiet; then a voice called out. It was Snatcher’s.

  “Board the Laundry!”

  As the cheese-hounds continued to jump up and down on the towpath, baying, the members approached the ship. As they did, the captain bellowed.

  “FIRE!”

  “FIRE!”

  The twanging of six enormous pairs of knickers could be heard, followed by a whizzing, a splodging, and disgusted screams. The cheese-hounds ran back down the towpath to a safe distance. The members looked as if they wanted to run too, but Snatcher was having none of it.

  Snatcher was having none of it.

  “Go on, you weak-willed, yellow-bellied varmints! BOARD the Laundry!” he shrieked.

  The captain shouted “Fire!” again, and another volley flew over the side of the ship. More screams could be heard. This time one of the screams was Snatcher’s.

  “Retreat!” shouted Snatcher.

  The members didn’t need telling twice. They ran back down the towpath to join the hounds, and the crew of the Laundry cheered.

  The members didn’t need telling twice.

  “I think we have got them on the run,” said the captain.

  “They’ll think twice about attacking us again,” agreed Arthur.

  “I hope you’re right . . . ,” said Willbury thoughtfully.

  Along the towpath a meeting was being held, Snatcher seemingly doing all of the talking. Everybody on the Nautical Laundry watched uneasily. After a minute or so, one of the members ran off down the towpath and disappeared. Snatcher walked a little way back toward the ship, and shouted, “You may have beaten us back, but it’s not over yet!”

  “Err hmm!” Arthur heard the captain urgently clear his throat. “Did you see Pickles and Levi at the Cheese Hall?”

  Arthur looked at the captain, who was waiting nervously for his reply.

  “I am afraid I didn’t,” Arthur said sadly.

  “No rodents at all?” asked the captain.

  “Just a pair of tiny mice in Snatcher’s room. And they were hardly big enough to be mice . . . .”

  The captain sighed and turned away.

  “Just a pair of tiny mice in Snatcher’s room.”

  A Dodgy Tanner.

  chapter 28

  THE POLICE

  The Ratbridge Irregular Police Force on “Dodgy Tanners.”

  The bicycles that the Ratbridge Irregular Police Force rode were known as “Dodgy Tanners.” This was because of the shape and number of their wheels. They had two wheels the shape of thru-penny coins. If one added together two thru-penny coins, one would have sixpence, and a sixpenny coin was known as a “tanner.”

  “Penny Farthing” bicycles had perfectly round wheels like the coins they were named after. Thru-penny coins were many-sided. Wheels this shape did not make for the good humor of the riders. On hard surfaces such as cobbles, the policemen could be heard a long way off as they let out little cries of pain at every turn of the wheels. Many a burglar had made an early escape because of the warning noises of an unhappy, approaching rider. Some policemen even took to wearing cu
shions strapped to their bottoms to prevent bruising. But not all could afford padding, so the Irregulars were known locally as “Squeakers.”

  Many a burglar had made an early escape because of the warning noises of an unhappy, approaching rider.

  The Squeakers now came down the towpath as fast as they could without causing themselves too much discomfort. Emergency calls were rare, and as the Squeakers were paid by the number of incidents they attended and arrests they made, they were in a rush to get to the scene. As they approached, all fell silent.

  The Chief Squeaker dismounted his bike, unstrapped his cushion, and asked authoritatively, “Hello, hello, hello. What’s going on here?”

  The Chief Squeaker dismounted his bike and unstrapped his cushion.

  The members and the pirates all looked very uneasy.

  Snatcher replied first. “We are being attacked by this bunch of cutthroats and robbers!”

  “Attacked, you say?” replied the officer.

  “Yes! We were out for a peaceful stroll when these scalawags started firing at us. They need locking up!”

  The sound of twenty pairs of iron handcuffs being prepared could be heard.

  The sound of twenty pairs of iron handcuffs being prepared could be heard.

  “This sounds very serious!” replied the Chief Squeaker with a smile. “It sounds as if a lot of arrests might need to be made!”

  “That is balderdash!” called Willbury from the deck. “We are just defending ourselves. I am a lawyer and . . .”

  The Chief Squeaker raised his hand. “A LAWYER!” He went bright red. “I don’t think this is the sort of thing a lawyer should be mixed up in, but I expect no better. Officers, arrest that man!”